yeah yeah, i know. critics does force you to improve, and you suppose to take it as a blessing. it means they who criticize, cares for your development. whatever that might be.

but... at this point of time. it makes me feel rather down. i take my work very seriously. at least since i worked here, i actually consider myself worthy to bear this profession. i take my bachelor degree in journalism, pay a lot of money, work my ass off with assignments, and force my head to know and understand things that aren't easy to apply. but after that small critic, that was delivered with a smile and good thought, i reconsider everything.

pity me. i can't take it as a positive thing. i fail myself in working to perfection. i give up on my first attempt to be somebody who has a particular skill in this particular task. i feel that I've failed my previous study, and that i don't belong in this field.

a part of me feel sorry for the way i look at things. I've come along way to get this position. not so many people made it. they can't find others that as qualified as me and my other friend. i failed to comprehend the privilege that I've earned.

maybe what i need to reconsider, is my way of thinking today. perhaps choosing to be in this foolish misery is my greatest failure for today.

*sigh*
this pms is torturing me.